it's amazing the difference a couple of months of rainfall make in australia. ( warning, sizeable photos )

jackson and anna got engaged!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so, my parents' visit is drawing to a close. they've been here for just over two weeks. i'm quite torn -- i'm very ready for them to go home, and have been for over a week, but i'm also not eager for them to go back to being so very far away. parents are best, i think, when they are situated just offscreen.

the highlight of their visit, by a long shot, was sitting down tonight, on the eve of their departure, and watching the first episode of Generation Kill (deftly pir8d by stuart), with live annotations by my stepdad. god, it's going to be good.

it's weird. i live in a foreign country. my parents, having visited me here in that foreign country, are going home, back to their -- my -- country. but i'm home already. right? i think i feel that adelaide is my home, but really, still and always, when i say the word "home," the first image that comes to mind is that of baltimore. will that ever change? and do i want it to? even though when i reach way down deep and ask myself, "would i rather live in baltimore," the answer is actually a resounding no, i still consciously hang onto, and cherish, the thought of it being my home. not just my childhood home, but my true home. what does that mean?

my hairdryer broke this morning. and my sister's getting a divorce.

arse.

today, for no reason i can surmise, "Highway to the Danger Zone" came into my head and i started singing it theatrically (as you do) while i was going about my business around the classroom.

caelan started singing along, real seriously and studiously. "hiiiiiii... waaaaaay... dooooooo... juhhh... jayyyja day"

kids are fucking excellent

today madeleine, age 3.25, shat herself violently. all down her pink-and-darker-pink striped stockings, all through her "ballerina shoes." she's one of those very princely children. she's got that type of utterly symmetrical, miraculously perfect attractiveness that you generally only see on television or in comic books: creamy, naturally-tanned skin, pink lips, rosy cheeks, bright blue eyes, and the frosty-flaxen-accents-over-honey-blonde hair that people pay so much for. all of this comes together in a totally organic way, such that rather than looking cheap, common, or banal, she looks quite angelic. perhaps in part because of that fact, she's treated like a tiny but powerful monarch by her family.

limping inside to the bathroom from the playground, dripping with her own shit, i felt SO sorry for her, because even at such a young age, she was clearly uncomfortable with admitting to another human, face to face, that poop comes out of her in the first place, much less such disastrously messy poop. princesses just do not poop. i can tell that that's the type of message she gets.

i got some poop on my shoulder. meh.

look, let's face it, as totally over as rickrolling should be by now, it's not yet, and the fact of the matter is, we have all been rickrolled. maybe only once, maybe only twice, but nobody is immune. i am willing to bet, however, that i might be one of an incredibly tiny number of people who actually sits and watches the entire "never gonna give you up" video every time i am rickrolled. don't get me wrong -- it's lame as fuck. i hate falling for a rickroll.

i just really love rick astley.

oy. okay

friday

homemade iced tea, sugar, milk
hazelnut brunch bar
kidfood: 1 egg salad kidwrap plus two more bites of another egg salad kidwrap
special imported jam biscuit from some special place in melbourne that imports italian things
ham and cheese danish square
can of coke
150 g peanut m&ms
vegetarian sandwich with bocconcini
some of adrian's chips, that fucker


saturday

one bowl of honey nut cheerios with milk
one cup drip coffee, milk, sugar
ham cheese & tomato croissant, toasted, at millie's
can coke zero
does sheep shit dust have calories? if yes, lots of sheep shit dust as i cleaned dried sheep shit out of the shed. do your lungs process calories? i bet not so maybe this doesn't count
reward-for-hard-labour dinner: 400g rump steak, of which i ate less than half (new steak rule: when i have my once-monthly red meat, always, always, always order filet mignon. australia has a thing where every steak meal costs $28 unless it's like 600g. for that amount, i could get a 400g rump steak and eat half, and have it be only sort of delicious, or i could get a 250g filet mignon and eat it all, and have it be delicious). also a few steamed veggies, a few scalloped potatoes, and shared a bowl of pumpkin soup
a sip of adrian's beer
a mug of hot chocolate
two mugs of rooibos tea with honey
hell of vitamins

sunday

1 berocca
lemon croissant
raspberry muffin
2 cups drip coffee
sudafed and vitamins
1 cup rooibos tea with milk and honey
water crackers, tzatziki, basil cashew pesto, and sliced kabana (about a dozen crackers with various combinations of the above)
a glass of too-diluted ribena
vitamins
peanut butter and jam sandwich on wholemeal
mug of milk

does rooibos tea have something in it that causes slight euphoria? i feel wicked laid back and awesome right now after two mugs of it.

i had a really bad couple of days at work and just couldn't be fucked even looking at the internet long enough to post about what i ate, even if i had been paying attention. sorry, PEYEIYBM. i guess i'll stop calculating the cost of things, since it's a failed experiment by virtue of my lack of energy. i really do want to do PEYEIYBM, though. i will do better.

today's food eet:

11.5am: Brezel's Bakery just reopened after over a month of holiday closure, and in honour of this glorious occasion i bought one of their baguettes, which rivals any i've had in france or anywhere else. so: half a baguette with 1/4 small wheel tasmanian double brie, light spreading of margarine, and a big old blob of raspberry jam. if you, like me, are me, this is one of the best things to eat in the whole world. there are two things you should know about this video. the first is that i'm sick, puffy, and a mess. the second is that at 0:06, adrian farts from all the way across the room and is still able to be heard quite clearly. he's a legend.


also consumed in that sitting, one mug of drip coffee with milk and sugar, and two glasses of apple strawberry juice.


6pm:
regular size takeaway penne with chicken and spinach in a tomato-with-splash-of-cream sauce from Pasta Go-Go, which sounds (and looks) like a chain but is actually an italian-immigrant-family owned and operated hole in the wall which only does take-away pastas, that's their only fare. it comes in chinese-takeout-style containers and is fucking delicious.
3/4 of a can of coca cola.

8pm:
four tootsie rolls.
two mugs of rooibos tea with milk and honey.

11pm:
shared a "margarita" (in fact just a glass of tequila cut with a modest amount of the sickly cuervo mix) with adrian to help me get sleepy

why does youtube refuse to assign a still shot to my PEYEIYBM videos

8am:
brunch bar ($0.54)
homemade iced tea, no milk ($0.03 for sugar and teabag)

11.5am:
kid food: six jatz biscuits (similar to ritz crackers), six jatz-sized slices of cheese, four cucumber spears, three green olives ($0)

1pm:
scroll from bakers delight ($2.20)
one can of red bull ($2.45)

6.5pm: low blood sugar problem
330ml apple pear juice ($3)
125g of 250g bag peanut M$Ms ($1.50)

7.5pm:
a couple handfuls of adrian's maltesers ($0, heh)

8.5pm:
glass of apple strawberry juice ($0.40?)

9pm: VLOGGED
5 homemade cold rolls (the cost would be extremely mathy to calculate, given how many ingredients i used, the fact that not all of what i bought got used in the preparation, and the fact that i used some on-hand ingredients whose prices i don't even vaguely remember. and man, i always run out of noodles. you'd think i'd learn. factoring in everything, i am wild-guesstimating $3 for 5 cold rolls.)
and a glass of weak ribena ($fuckit)


"eight," for all you san franciscans out there



and two sips of adrian's wine



today's unscientifically estimated expenditure: AUD $13.09

10am:
STARVING. fully two bowls of cheerios with milk (let's say a whole dollar's worth of milk, it was a lot)
one can of red bull ($2.35)

2pm:
salad sandwich from St. Peter's Bakery, with beetroot, carrot, cucumber, mixed lettuce, butter, salt, and pepper. ($3.50)

maybe 15 rice crisps, sour cream and onion flavour (shit.. $0.20?)
a can of coke ($0.63)

5pm:
1/4 of a pint of fancy chocolate ice cream ($6/4=$1.50)

8pm:
6-inch tuna on wheat from Subway. Subway is startlingly good in Australia. ($3.95)
a "handful" of chips turned into rather a considerable number of chips. ($not mine)



today's total expenditure: AUD $13.22

well, dammit, i was going to do a POST-IRONIC VLOG of my eating today, but the rechargeable batteries in my camera are out of juice and it'll take them hours to charge. tomorrow! tomorrow is the day that i will talk to a camera about what i put in my face.

TODAY'S EET:

around 11am:
1 2/3 bowls of honey nut cheerios (sent by mom from america!) (cost to me: $0)
with milk (maybe $0.50 for the amount i used)
10 oz. mug of coffee with about 2 sugars and a little milk. (maybe $0.25, taking ground coffee, milk, and sugar into account)
1 piece of Coles brand chocolate with mint pieces ($0.27)

around 3pm:
at the Hahndorf Inn, one weisswurst, most of a serve of rhein potatoes, and half of a soft pretzel ($10.90)
a couple bites of adrian's hamburger, several of his chips, a bite of kirstie's soup ($0; i paid for all of our meals, but i'm calculating the monthly expenditure of my own eating. i bought some shoes today, too, but i'm not counting those -- i guess it's no different.)
a glass of Peter Lehmann riesling ($5)

6.5pm:
330ml can coca cola ($0.63)

latenight:
a vili dog, most of a beef satay pie, a handful of adrian's chips (a huge staple of his diet), 600ml strawberry milk ($9.40)
a glass of green tea cordial (probably $0.10)


today's total expenditure: AUD $27.05

requiescat in pace, PC the bird.



nobody deserves to be mauled to death by dogs, and i am very sad for you, today and always, little guy.

for PEYEIYBM, i'm going to record everything with caloric value that crosses my lips, but i'm also going to go a step further and list the cost to me of each item. i'm not trying to be more frugal, i'm just very interested. everything that i eat at work is free -- i don't often think about how much of what i eat in a day is free. it's good.



morning:

330 ml homemade iced black tea (in a reused-daily glass bottle), 2 sugars, 1% milk. (cost of tea bag, milk, and sugar almost negligible due to bulk purchasing, let's say $0.05 among all three)
coconut flavoured cadbury brunch bar. (cost: box of 6 bars on sale for $3.25; 1 bar = $0.54)
approx 100 ml whole milk, to swallow some pills with (cost to me: $0)

noon:
kid food*: 2 kidbowls of curried couscous salad with tuna, shredded cucumbers and carrots. (cost to me: $0)
2 small lollycoffees (this is a preparation of coffee that involves copious instant coffee powder, copious sugar, copious milk, and a small amount of boiling water) (cost to me: $0)
1 milk arrowroot biscuit (cost to me: $0)

afternoon:
kid food: 1/2 kidbowl chicken, bacon & mushroom pie (cost to me: $0)
1 chewable Quick-Eze antacid tablet (8 tablets for $2.71; 1 tablet = $0.34)

evening:
peanut butter and jelly sandwich on multigrain bread (cost: let's say $0.40, based on my estimates of each element's total price and the portion of the total used in creating the sandwich)
375 ml can coca cola classic (cost: 30 cans** for $18.99; 1 can = $0.63)
muffin from the grocery store (cost: $1.98)


today's total food expenditure: AUD $3.94




*kid food: at work, all room staff must sit and eat with children at each meal, to role model good eating behaviour as well as to maintain a particular tone in the social environment of the classroom. snacktime participation is optional. the unit of measure is a kidbowl, which is a small, colourful, plastic bowl that is used by the 2-and-unders at work. most days, kid food is all i eat during work hours. it's usually pretty decent, sometimes even quite delicious, but the canola oil the cook uses (olive oil is too costly, i guess?) gives myself and my co-workers ridiculous acid reflux. you'll be seeing a lot of Quick-Eze on this livejournal in the coming weeks.

**we do not usually have cans of soda in the house. it's a rare impulse purchase, but one which we never regret.

RESOLVED: YOU CANNOT BE UNHAPPY WHILE LISTENING TO THE KINGSMEN'S "LOUIE LOUIE"; IT'S NOT POSSIBLE

THAT'S ALL, CARRY ON

my fridge always, always smells like rotting basil. i'm really not sure why this is. yes, i go through a lot of basil, but it could be a week or more since i've had any in the fridge, and the fridge will still reek of it. i just took out a block of expensive cheese i'd splurged on and had really been looking forward to enjoying, and even though it was well-wrapped, it tastes like goddamn rotting basil.

fuck you, fridge.

say, do you read Anders Loves Maria? if not, why not? it's getting so god damn delicious.

i really, really miss walking into a record store and finding what i'm looking for. i think i need to sign up for emusic. ecchhhhh. fucking australia, man.

Something new that Will has been doing in the month of December is playing a game called "What's Will Doing." The game goes like this: Will is doing something perfectly clear and straightforward, like eating lunch, digging in the sand, or kicking a piece of wood. Will locates me and, sometimes too quietly for me to hear at first, and then with increasing volume until I've acknowledged him, asks me: "what's Will doing?" and I have to tell Will what Will is doing. It's a dumb game, because not only does Will know perfectly well what Will is doing, but Will definitely, certainly possesses the vocabulary to describe what he is doing in simple, accurate terms, no matter what he's doing at the time he asks. Because, see, Will only ever asks "what's Will doing" when Will is doing something that Will commands the appropriate language to describe.

I try to turn it around on him, and say "Why don't YOU tell ME what Will is doing," because this would sneakily transform his annoying game into a language exercise, forcing him to learn by practicing his speaking. Except it doesn't work. When I do this, Will smiles a uniquely Will smile, a smile that says "I've got you, you fucker, I'm really good at this game and you're shit at it and we both know it," and simply asks again, "what's Will doing?" He does not relent until I tell Will what he's doing. And once I've told him, he only ever says one thing in reply: "Yeeahhh." Which is to say, "yes, Alex, you have answered my question correctly, and also you have yet again fallen prey to my foolproof method of getting you to say some shit that I already know."

Anyway, all that said, Will kind of warmed my cockles the other day with an unexpectedly cute episode of "What's Will Doing." He came up to me while we were playing outside, and just folded himself into my chest/torso region and rested there for a moment, leaning into me. Then he righted himself, standing on his own but still maintaining our body contact, and stared off into space for a couple of beats before asking, "what's Alex doing?" I replied, gently and earnestly, "standing with Will." Then, feeling the moment, not really thinking at all, I asked, "what's Will doing?" and he replied, "standing with Alex."