alex hf ([info]bees4breakfast) wrote,
2005-04-09 04:44:00
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I went to an Avril Lavigne concert

it's true.

stuart works at a ticketing agency, and he can basically get free tickets to whatever. so he got me a ticket to avril. and i went. YOU GOT A PROBLEM? I LIKE AVRIL. DAMMIT.

please enjoy my observations on her concert.


Avril Has A Really, Really Sweet Ass
This is something that I did not know before the concert. I do not think I had seen her ass in a video. But now that I have seen it (in tight black corporate-punk-rocker pants) from a distance of maybe ten or so meters, I can basically confirm that it is a top choice ass. Before tonight, I would have been all "Britney, okay, sure; Beyonce, you know I'm down; but Avril? Meh!" However, after tonight, you may now count me among the throngs of people who would fuck the everloving christ out of Avril Lavigne. Money can't buy an ass that sweet, I tell you what.
Avril Is Surprisingly Good At Rocking
I have always maintained that Avril is a talented singer (meaning that her vocal performances are impressive, although say what you will about her music). I am a pretty highly trained vocalist and i know good pipes when i hear 'em piping. The thing is, it turns out she's also a pretty entertaining performer. Here is the thing. I think that it's a shame that she got a big important major-label record deal, and now a team of people basically dress her up like a little faux-punk twit and tell her what to say and think. I have no idea what she's like as a human being, but it's possible that without all the bullshit, she could be a pretty good little musician with some integrity. At the very least, she does rock & roll onstage. She genuinely plays and sings with a certain UNGH that definitely shines through the detestably contrived sk8r punk chik image. And she has a great voice and great pitch. And, it's entirely possible she could write decent music if she wasn't under a specific contract to write horrible music. Did you know that she writes her own? She does.
Her Bassist Was A Nice Jewish Boy
He could have been straight out of the hallowed halls of Brandeis University, I shit you not. He was about 22, I'd say; dressed smartly in a light blue short-sleeved button-down shirt, khakis, and brown loafers. He wore nerdy glasses. He was balding slightly. He had a large and stately semitic nose. He tried to dance, and was adorably incompetent at it. He just smacked of all the nice Jewish boys I've known and loved. I wonder how he ended up playing bass in Avril's backup band! I wanted to ask him. I could just picture him being like "Oh, jeez, yeah, my dad, see, he's an executive at the label, and Avril's regular bassist broke his leg right before they were scheduled to tour Australia. So dad came to me and said, 'Eli, you've had the bass lessons for three years, can't you do a little mitzvah and fill in for the poor boy with the leg?'" It was awesome.


and that's all i have to say. i genuinely enjoyed her show. i only caught the last 45 minutes of it, but i'm okay with that. god help me if i'm going to sit through her opening act, whoever that might have been.

(SUBTEXT: can you tell that i really, really miss going to rock shows? god, i hope her opener wasn't like, The Books or something.)

oh, did i mention she covered green day's "american idiot" as well as the clash's "i'm so bored of the USA?" pretty hypocritical anti-american sentiments for someone whose success owes almost completely to the american market. also, hello, she owns a house in beverly hills, and resides in it? that pisses me off a tick. i hate america as much as the next disenchanted american, but nigga please. don't even try to pretend you don't live there, girl.

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  • 19 comments

[info]jupiterempath

April 8 2005, 10:56:26 UTC 7 years ago

churl, as you can probably imagine, i feel very much the same about teh avril. my roommate burned me her CD a while back, and i do indeed love its radio rock goodness. and she does seem to actually have talent, which is more than can be said of her movie-starlet-turned-pop-singer or i'm-famous-cause-my-sister-is-notoriously-retarded-on-her-reality-show competitors. and yes, she is pretty f'ing ghey for hating on the country that made her all her moneys, but on the rizzle, what could be more american than that?

[info]bees4breakfast

April 8 2005, 22:01:47 UTC 7 years ago

let's get married.

[info]noodlesploosh

April 8 2005, 12:04:23 UTC 7 years ago

"complicated" blows my mind, girl.

[info]bees4breakfast

April 8 2005, 22:03:49 UTC 7 years ago

"complicated" is pretty much of a perfect radio pop song, and though i always nod along to good radio pop, i don't think i can really respect it.

so far, avril has pretty much only recorded radio pop / radio sk8r rock. i will be really interested to see if, when she grows too old to fit this girly image anymore, her record exes will let her evolve into some more mature genres with a little bit more... artistic... art.. to them.

[info]frodoelf

April 8 2005, 12:11:36 UTC 7 years ago

She can't sing worth a damn. That's why they always add effects to her songs. And come on, Sk8ter boi? Boi is how the GAYS spell boy. If she was in love with a sk8ter boi, it is likely he only loves other sk8ter boizzz.

and she also looks exactly like my little sister. creepy.

[info]bees4breakfast

April 8 2005, 22:00:29 UTC 7 years ago

i do not think you read my entry with even the most cursory care!

[info]frodoelf

April 9 2005, 08:52:32 UTC 7 years ago

FART

[info]truthawaits

April 8 2005, 21:22:01 UTC 7 years ago

I don't care what everyone says. I LOVE YOU MAN. LOVE YOU LIKE CHEESECAKES.

[info]bees4breakfast

April 8 2005, 22:01:05 UTC 7 years ago

when you say "you," do you mean ME? if so, can i touch your boobs?

[info]truthawaits

April 9 2005, 00:00:57 UTC 7 years ago

SURE!

[info]spamjee

April 9 2005, 10:36:33 UTC 7 years ago

hey i'm moving to san francisco, are you ever coming back??

sanji

[info]bees4breakfast

April 9 2005, 22:17:04 UTC 7 years ago

yeah, fuckin' hopefully! it shouldn't be too long... a few more months, if we're lucky.

are you guys gettin' married or what?

[info]spamjee

April 10 2005, 08:03:33 UTC 7 years ago

any chance you'll be there by august? if so, do you need roomates?

i'm not sure we're allowed to get married until i physically meet the rest of your gang, meaning david and dale. speaking of marriage, i hear youre not miss hooker any more. are the rumor mills true??

[info]bees4breakfast

April 10 2005, 18:53:48 UTC 7 years ago

pretty much no chance we'll be there by august, i'm afraid, unless the heavens open and God sticks his dick in the mashed potatoes.

you've never met david and dale?! what the hell is wrong with you people. have you never been to baltimore? no? then you cannot be truly happy

i don't think it's so much "the rumor mill" as "i told andrew i got married, which is a true fact"

[info]bees4breakfast

April 10 2005, 18:54:43 UTC 7 years ago

but my name is still hooker til i get back to the US and can legally change it :(

[info]mooseking

April 10 2005, 20:50:49 UTC 7 years ago

Do not get me wrong -- I enjoy a good nonthreatening guitar-wielding woman singer (See: Fletcher, A.; Melberg, R.; et al.) -- but I don't see what about Ms. Lavigne qualifies her for that status. All right; she possesses a certain as-yet-unspecified quantity of singing ability. (I will defer to your better judgment on this matter.) But her songwriting skills, even terrible lyrics aside, are unremarkable at best. Yes, she has only written radio pop; it is not even especially good radio pop. If "Complicated" is the best one can do, one is in sad shape indeed; what kind of hook, I ask you, is that? A shapeless ululation! What of that other damn song, where the chorus is just sort of haphazardly tacked onto the verses? Like much of Lavigne's other work, it lacks concision and craftsmanship, qualities which are to say the least not exactly uncommercial. I will admit there may be a monetary reason her lyrics are sufficient to send me into a marginally murderous rage; there is no reason why her songs are not catchier.

I will admit that she is indeed rather pretty, in a disturbingly-young-looking-and-probably-not-very-well-versed-in-the-literature-of-the-seventeenth-century kind of way. And while she (assuming that her claims to write her own songs are not a public relations stunt) does not have a remarkable natural talent for melody, with practice and dedication she might not be completely hopeless. But she is not doing anything dozens of (perhaps less conventionally attractive?) other women are not doing, and hundreds could not do if given the hope of record contracts.

Also, it's "I'm So Bored with the USA". Know thy Clash, Alex.

[info]mooseking

April 10 2005, 21:00:36 UTC 7 years ago

Good heavens, it's finally happened. I've turned into a nineteenth-century British professor. Funny; I always thought this would happen with regard to school first.

I don't even know what to do now, Alex. Should I put down the keyboard and never write anything about music again? Or should I make a joke out of it, some kind of recurring column -- "A Pleasing Cavalcade of Musical Diversions, with Diogenes Cathcart, D.Phil." or something?

Well, if I had a magazine that needed filling, I know what I would do. But as it stands, I think maybe the former is my best option. I apologize.

[info]bees4breakfast

April 10 2005, 21:13:40 UTC 7 years ago

yeah... i don't think as hard as you do. sounds are nice. i like some sounds. other sounds i don't.

[info]mooseking

April 10 2005, 21:35:39 UTC 7 years ago

Tut tut, young Alex. Thinking is not something Prof. Cathcart does; thinking is something Prof. Cathcart is. He is suffused with thought; not an impulse passes the foyer of his mind until his analytic faculties have fully...

...um, I'm sorry, Alex. I don't even know what that last bit meant. You know the only pleasing cavalcade I have time for is a pleasing cavalcade of large sandwiches.
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