I went to an Avril Lavigne concert
it's true.

stuart works at a ticketing agency, and he can basically get free tickets to whatever. so he got me a ticket to avril. and i went. YOU GOT A PROBLEM? I LIKE AVRIL. DAMMIT.

please enjoy my observations on her concert.

Avril Has A Really, Really Sweet Ass

This is something that I did not know before the concert. I do not think I had seen her ass in a video. But now that I have seen it (in tight black corporate-punk-rocker pants) from a distance of maybe ten or so meters, I can basically confirm that it is a top choice ass. Before tonight, I would have been all "Britney, okay, sure; Beyonce, you know I'm down; but Avril? Meh!" However, after tonight, you may now count me among the throngs of people who would fuck the everloving christ out of Avril Lavigne. Money can't buy an ass that sweet, I tell you what.

Avril Is Surprisingly Good At Rocking

I have always maintained that Avril is a talented singer (meaning that her vocal performances are impressive, although say what you will about her music). I am a pretty highly trained vocalist and i know good pipes when i hear 'em piping. The thing is, it turns out she's also a pretty entertaining performer. Here is the thing. I think that it's a shame that she got a big important major-label record deal, and now a team of people basically dress her up like a little faux-punk twit and tell her what to say and think. I have no idea what she's like as a human being, but it's possible that without all the bullshit, she could be a pretty good little musician with some integrity. At the very least, she does rock & roll onstage. She genuinely plays and sings with a certain UNGH that definitely shines through the detestably contrived sk8r punk chik image. And she has a great voice and great pitch. And, it's entirely possible she could write decent music if she wasn't under a specific contract to write horrible music. Did you know that she writes her own? She does.

Her Bassist Was A Nice Jewish Boy

He could have been straight out of the hallowed halls of Brandeis University, I shit you not. He was about 22, I'd say; dressed smartly in a light blue short-sleeved button-down shirt, khakis, and brown loafers. He wore nerdy glasses. He was balding slightly. He had a large and stately semitic nose. He tried to dance, and was adorably incompetent at it. He just smacked of all the nice Jewish boys I've known and loved. I wonder how he ended up playing bass in Avril's backup band! I wanted to ask him. I could just picture him being like "Oh, jeez, yeah, my dad, see, he's an executive at the label, and Avril's regular bassist broke his leg right before they were scheduled to tour Australia. So dad came to me and said, 'Eli, you've had the bass lessons for three years, can't you do a little mitzvah and fill in for the poor boy with the leg?'" It was awesome.

and that's all i have to say. i genuinely enjoyed her show. i only caught the last 45 minutes of it, but i'm okay with that. god help me if i'm going to sit through her opening act, whoever that might have been.

(SUBTEXT: can you tell that i really, really miss going to rock shows? god, i hope her opener wasn't like, The Books or something.)

oh, did i mention she covered green day's "american idiot" as well as the clash's "i'm so bored of the USA?" pretty hypocritical anti-american sentiments for someone whose success owes almost completely to the american market. also, hello, she owns a house in beverly hills, and resides in it? that pisses me off a tick. i hate america as much as the next disenchanted american, but nigga please. don't even try to pretend you don't live there, girl.